Sunday, March 14, 2010

Moving forward...

It's the middle of the night, and here I am...typing.

Matt and I treated ourselves to a little bit of normalcy out of the house and enjoyed some fresh air. We spent our sunny afternoon in Beverly Hills, someplace away from what is familiar to us...a place that wouldn't remind us of anything or where we would bump into anyone we knew. We had a nice lunch at a cafe that I've been to a couple times and always enjoy sitting outside under an oversized umbrella and watch the interesting people who frequent Rodeo Drive.

We ended our day at one of our favorite restaurants - Koi - where, no matter what any other restaurant claims, they still make the best spicy tuna and crispy rice in town. In typical Katie fashion, we ordered the biggest and most decadent dessert on the menu, and then came home for dessert #2 - Ben and Jerry's oatmeal cookie ice cream...YUM.

We both felt really good all day. But coming home was not easy. It made me realize that, even though I was only pregnant for about 10 wks, I had truly already started going through the "nesting" phase. Over the last 4 weeks, I loved just being home...preparing for what's to come by cleaning cupboards and closets, buying new towels and linens, and simply enjoying our cozy little house. Other than working, going for a walk or running errands, I basically spent my last few weeks at home...and whether I was alone or with Matt, I loved every minute of just being there.

Now home just reminds me of the the "could have beens"...all of the feelings and emotions that were once there, preparing for baby, are left....tucked away in our couch, wrapped up in our snuggie, greeting me when I open our pantry, packed in the fridge where the gallon of milk (which I never drank before pregnancy) and healthy treats I bought specifically for being an expectant mommy, still remain.

It is all still so fresh, and everything is a reminder of what life was just a few short days seems different here now. Only 10 wks of pregnancy...but that 10 wks changed us so much.

I know the healing process has already begun, and I will feel good again soon. I have to continue to distract myself and stay busy...writing definitely helps and hopefully I will be able to get back into wedding planning soon (I don't even know where to begin or where I left off!?!?). I still can't bring myself to really talk about it much with anyone other than Matt...but I look forward to spending time with my inspiring, positive and supportive girlfriends soon.

Again, many thanks to all who have continued to call, text and email...the support means the world to us.

Love you xoxo