Looking forward...

Anyone who is very close to me knows that this past year has been quite a journey.  While I have yet to write about it (because I spend so much time dealing with it every day, I am not yet ready to put its uncomfortable energy into my passion and hobby)…but I look forward to someday sharing my story of overcoming all of this, and living a long, healthful, purposeful life full of beautiful and special moments until I grow old and gray (and traveling & eating fabulous meals once again!).  

That said, I read a few quotes today that I wanted to share…written by someone who has gone through a very similar journey to me, and who has become an inspiration in my life.

"I guess you fight through the bad days to earn the best days of your life."

"Best friends are people who make your problems their problems just so you don't have to go through them alone."

"Sometimes God uses our deepest pain as the launching pad of our greatest calling…"

I trust that this last one will be very true for me…and that I will someday look back and see purpose in this long, winding journey that has often brought me to my knees, feeling helpless and confused…only to be lifted up by my dearest friends, my incredible husband and my beautiful baby girl.  They give me the strength and encouragement to get through everyday.

To my husband, my rock.  My clear, stable mind when I can't think for myself.  My everything.

To my baby girl, whose smile, laugh and beautiful personality lights up my life…you are my greatest treasure.

To my girls, you know who you are….I can never thank you enough for all you do for me. It is because of you that I can keep my head above water and see clearly through the fog of self-pity and discouragement that can often weigh me down when I'm not feeling well.  You always throw me the life raft when I need it most.

To Oma, there is no one who I would trust more with our sweet girl, and I know the joy and happiness she experiences with you is unbelievably special and priceless, and will help shape her to be the compassionate, kind, sensitive and sincere person that I already see her becoming.

To my mom, who patiently listens to me after every doctor's appointment and every challenge I face, supporting me and helping me navigate through it all; thank you.  

To my team of doctors, my naturopath and acupuncturist…I finally take comfort that I am with the right team who is doing everything they can to best support me.

While this has turned my world upside-down, the incredible support system I have around me fills me with such gratitude.  

I trust that it's experiences like this that ultimately makes life worth living…creating sincere appreciation for good health, the simple things that already meant so much to me before, and the importance of surrounding myself with people who lift me up and bring beautiful energy into my life.  For this, I am forever grateful.

Happy Birthday to my sweet baby girl...

My sweet girl is 2 today…going on 13…full of thoughts, opinions, ideas and imagination.  Yesterday, we spent a lovely afternoon baking our special zucchini muffins for today (her favorite).  Elle was such a wonderful helper…she's watched me make them so many times, she jumped right in and put the ingredients together with just a little help from mama.  She was soooo excited about her birthday, we woke up extra early today and started off with a Taylor Swift/Meghan Trainor dance party, followed by opening gifts, enjoying her special birthday muffins and then off on a trip to the local pumpkin patch.  The beginning of a wonderful birthday weekend celebration…

I'm so proud of my little baker!!!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!  

Thank you for choosing me to be your "mammia!"

I love you endlessly.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

DANCE PARTY!!!

What's Up Moms?

First, I can't believe this You Tube channel, What's Up Moms?, has only just now come onto my radar…I could've definitely used the candid, hilarious and oh-so-true insight and advice on all-things momminess many sleepless nights ago!  

These mamas are amazing - their You Tube channel offers totally honest, real insight on what it's like to be a mom (so you are assured not to feel alone in your own chaotic day of juggling baby's sleep/eat/poop schedule!), they share creative DIY projects, provide healthy recipes for kiddos and have created the BEST parodies…but most importantly, they are just completely relatable for any new mama.  They tell it how it is.  And I love it.  Here's a couple videos below to check out, and I recommend going to their channel here for more…totally worth watching!  Enjoy xoxox

A beautiful day for a beautiful mama...

As I navigate my way through all that life throws at you, this creative "nook" that I hold so near and dear has been terribly neglected…but I'm finally starting to feel like myself again, and spending time here, in this space of allowing my thoughts to flow, offers such a healing and happy place for me.  I wish I could have returned sooner…and although I know juggling life right now will not allow me to be here as often as I'd like, I will appreciate and enjoy the presence that the simple act of writing offers my soul.

I enjoyed such a beautiful and special day today, hosting an intimate brunch in celebration of the soon-to-be-arrival of my BFF's sweet baby girl.  It was wonderful.

For you, Annie…we can't wait to meet baby Z!!!  Love you!!

"Being a mother is discovering strengths you did not know you had."

Auntie Irina's homemade candles…bravo Irie!

the amazing mama…and baby Z

So much love poured in on special notes from friends near and far for baby Z's Bucket List

Peanut has a green thumb...

Today we went over to Oma & Grandpa's house (hubby's parents), and with Oma's loving guidance, our little peanut discovered her new favorite hobby…gardening :)  Oma and Elle planted a tiny tree together and Elle could have spent all afternoon shoveling, digging and exploring…it was so sweet & special.

Looking forward to watching the tiny tree grow…

Haaappppyyyy Birthday Baby Girl!!!

Oh how quickly time goes when you become a parent...our sweet baby girl turns 1 today!!!  I can't believe how fast this year has passed, and yet I can barely remember our life before our little angel was born; it's as though she's been a part of us forever.  

Elliana Kaye, you are truly the light of our lives.  

Thinking about our beautiful, special and memorable journey thus far brings up a feeling of nostalgia that clenches my heart, but then I remember a quote I read in Until I Say Goodbye by Susan Wendel-Spencer...

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened" - Dr. Seuss

Happy Birthday, Peanut!!!!!!

Little booties...

A good friend gave us a darling pair of faux-fur booties when I was pregnant with Ellie, and she's finally big enough to wear 'em...and she finds them quite interesting!

First family vacation...

We had a wonderful time last weekend as we ventured up to Ojai for our first family vacation...it was such a beautiful weekend, and with easy travel to and from (minus one mini-meltdown each way), it really made it the perfect spot for our first little getaway with Ellie.  

We spent much of our time enjoying the gorgeous grounds of the Ojai Valley Inn & Spa, where we stayed...nestled in the middle of a breathtaking golf course, rolling hills, an herb garden and lavender throughout; it is truly stunning.  Definitely a place we plan to go again...especially when Ellie is more excited about pool activities (she wasn't really sure what to think this time around!), and when mama has time to enjoy the spa!  

Our usual spot for breakfast and dinner...overlooking the golf course.

Our little snuggle bug

BEST BREAKFAST EVER!!!!

Clearly, I loooooved this gorgeous tree.  

We also explored the darling little town full of funky shops, a fabulous ice cream parlor, and a restaurant, Ojai Cafe Emporium, where I had the absolute best waffle ever!!  I think I'd drive back up just for the breakfast!

xoxo

Our next chapter...

Time has gone by so quickly in recent months, I can't believe I am already returning back to work (after an almost 5-month long maternity leave, which I know I am incredibly lucky to have had).  I had become so good at ignoring the fact that I would "someday" have to go back to the real world...it always seemed so far out, which was wonderful because I was able to fully be present with our sweet little angel while the thought of work was always so distant.  And here we are.  Time to go back.  I am in such a haze now...it almost feels surreal that my leave is coming to an end, and our baby girl is already almost 5 months old.  

This beautiful, once-in-a-lifetime journey (first born) has proven to be soooo much more than I expected it could ever be.  I am beyond grateful for the time I've had to bond with our sweetie - all the moments snuggling on our couch, long mornings enjoying "smoothie time" as a family, going to baby classes, visiting with friends and their little ones, walks on the strand, many brunches at North End Cafe, strolling farmer's markets, sleeping with baby girl on my chest, and all of the wonderful visits with grandparents and aunties & uncles.  So much time spent just the three of us; watching daddy sing and play...and all of the beautiful and special moments in between.  

The middle-of-the-night feedings already seem so long ago...and for any mommy who is just starting their journey into parenthood, I would say enjoy every moment of snuggles you get during the wee hours of the night.  While it might be hard to realize now (when you're in the thick of it), those sweet moments when it's just you and baby and the moon are some of the most precious times that I will always remember.

When I reflect back on the time I've had, I see the sun shining cheerfully through our living room windows, flooding our home with a warm and happy light...I'm snuggled up on our couch with my little sweetheart...it's afternoon and we are enjoying a long lazy nap together.  This has so often been the setting for us.  One of my favorite memories was over the holidays...Ellie and I fell asleep on the couch together, while the sun was still shining brightly, and when I woke up the sun had set and our living room was beautifully lit up by twinkle lights on our Christmas tree; they created such a lovely, cozy glow.  It was a perfect moment that I will never forget.  

Everyone tells me it only gets better from here.  I can't imagine that it could get any better than this...but I look forward to what's next.

xxo

Life is only just beginning...

It's been 3 months since our sweet angel joined us into this world and our new life began.  It's unbelievable how fast time is flying now (especially since it went soooo slow during pregnancy!)...and I can honestly say I'm loving mommy-hood even more than I could have ever imagined. 

With the amazing support of my incredible hubby, endless love and care from grandparents, and our wonderful friends (many who are in the same early stages of parenthood as well), our journey has already been so beautiful and fulfilling.

Yes, being a new parent has its challenges...you're on limited hours of sleep (even though our sweet baby has slept through the night for a while now, I still can't seem to get good zzz's...I swear I sleep with one eye open!), you're constantly catering to a helpless little one and just trying your best to keep it together (sometimes I can't believe what I look like when I go out in public but I just don't have the energy or time to care anymore!).  Oh, and getting out of the house to run a simple errand - yeeeaaah, add about 45 min of prep time before you actually make it to your car.  But, even amidst countless dirty diapers, endless loads of laundry, and the fact that going to the grocery store is now a full "mission," I can't even begin to express how amazing being a parent is.  For each challenge, there are a zillion beautiful moments that make it all worth it.  

I truly believe that our life has only just begun.  The never-ending love, adventures, travel, traditions...special memories...all still lie ahead.  We are trying to dive in as gracefully as possible as we begin our new chapter full of bubbles, giggles, coos, messes, dirty diapers, spontaneous smiles and sweet snuggles, and I'm trying to hold onto each moment as they so quickly pass by.  I look at the "busier" (aka "tough") days as good learning experiences, and try to soak in every moment on the easy days...either way they are both absolutely, totally, completely, utterly wonderful.

So happy.

xoxo

Holiday babies...

Arrival of our sweet baby...

It has been soooo long since I've written...I didn't mean to neglect my favorite creative outlets, but as you can see, I've been a bit busy :)

Our sweet angel, Elliana Kaye, was born Oct 17th.

It's been an amazing journey so far.  Grateful for every moment...she is an incredible baby who I think is an old soul like her daddy.  Very peaceful, happy little gem.  We are counting our blessings.

xoxo

6 weeks old

Ellie loves her snuggle time with daddy...

The perfect Friday night...

And the baby love continues...

Our baby girl is so fortunate...she is already so loved!!  Grandma and Oma threw a wonderful baby shower for us down at Grandma & Grandpa's house in Laguna.  It was a beautiful day filled with love, laughter, sunshine...darling decor, great food and delicious desserts!  We are very grateful for all the love and support...xoxox

The gracious hosts!

Auntie Sara & Uncle Matt, who were also a huge part of the hosting efforts! 

Sandrine's scrumptious cupcakes!

Blooming Fashionista...

Our close friends' daughter has been a beautiful light in my life for the last 4 years.  She is absolutely gorgeous, inside and out...the sweetest little girl with a hint of diva...and she keeps me smiling, full of hugs and kisses, every time I visit her.  I had to share these pics that her mommy sent me...perhaps Karl Lagerfeld's next muse??  I'm such a proud Auntie!

Yes, that's her real hair...and yes, she accessorizes every outfit herself.  She is fashion magic.